Steps. Steps. Steps.

I really have to keep on myself about doing the right thing and working my steps. And, I don't just mean writing on them, but actually putting them to work in my life. Honesty is something I work on everyday. I see people come in and go back out and come back in and go back out and, well, you get the point. My heart hurts for them, but I know I can't carry them. What I can do is learn from them. They, not only remind me that it's no better out there, but also show me why I MUST be honest. Which doesn't mean, as my sponsor would say, just telling the truth. Honesty, for me today, has more to do with checking my motives and getting real about who I am and how my disease works in my life.

My disease would have me act out of impulse, constantly fucking up my life. My program gives me that few extra minutes I need between thought and action to get honest about why I want to ___________ (fill in the blank). Thank God for recovery and all you people out there who keep me alive each day.